My two and four year old children LOVE super heroes, LOVE comic books. Not sure how it started. As a kid, I liked ’em, but had only tangential exposure. Now, as a 37-year old man, I’m drafted by these two yahoos every weekend to play with the dozens of actions figures in some epic battle with a convulted plot-line that fits right in with any Secret Invasion/Dark Reign story concocted by Marvel. It usually goes something like this:
Dr. Doom, Iron Patriot, and Doc Oc (with the assistance of Juggernaut, Absorbing Man, Venom, Green Goblin, and several ‘bad-guy’ Lego Hero Factory robots) have taken Cyclops and Jean Gray captive. This evil Cabal has somehow retained the services of a Rancor (yes, from Jaba’s Palace fame), several large rubber snakes, a blue salamander, Destro, Storm Shadow, and several nameless Cobra soldiers to guard the prisoners. The Avengers, led by Iron Man and Captain America have allied with Wolverine, Colossus, Spidey, War Machine…and the list goes on, to form a rescue party. Oh yeah, and Snake Eyes and Beach Head from GI Joe help out (not sure what normal humans can do to help, but hey, it’s not my story.) In any case, we play across all four levels of our home, from the lava world of the basement to the mountain tops of the attic. Eventually…inevitably… Silver Surfer shows up to tell everyone that Galactus is coming. The good and bad team up and defeat that Devourer of Worlds, with multiple casualties.
Which brings me to this. Below is a family tree setting forth the Avengers inter-relations. This poster makes far too much sense to me– yet makes no more sense than the twists/character reversals/plots of my small children.
Spoiler: Spider Woman (Ms. Drew) is actually the Skrull Queen (see lower left).